Monday, April 7, 2008

Live Blogging: The Bachelor London Calling, episode 4

Welcome, remaining 9 bachelorettes and America. London is calling.

Chris Harrison arrives to tell us that things are about to get ruh-eeeel! This week, one group date, one 1-on-1 date, and one 2-on-1 date that will send one girl home.

Group Date: Wimbledon in L.A. and High Tea!

The Ladies:

  • Kelly
  • Chelsea
  • Shayne
  • Ashlee
  • Noelle
  • Robin
Just like last week's stereotypical English football game with rugby shirts and hot pants, this week's stereotypical tennis match features tight white tennis outfits and pink rackets!

"I know what high tea is!" says Robin.
"I don't!" says Shayne.
"I can't believe we're having high tea," says Matt. "I don't exactly do that on a regular basis, but okay."

It's tennis time. Shayne thinks her skirt is really big. Kelly may actually be sober while playing tennis. Matt tells us that he cannot control himself around Chelsea today.

Chelsea and Shayne have a gymanstics competition. Robin thinks that this is a scream for attention. She would NEVER sink to this behavior!

Ashlee, who still looks 12, gets some one-on-one time with Matt. Ashlee is wearing a couple small animals on her fat furry coat.

Matt: You seem to take everything in stride.
Ashlee: Giggle! Yeah-wait, what does that mean?

Matt: "Ashlee starts singing and I just get mesmerized." (Really?) They kiss.

The other girls aren't buying Ashlee's game either. Whiny, baby-voice Shayne thinks she feels like being around Ashlee is like hanging out with a baby.

Cut back to Ashlee and Matt, still kissing, except now Ashlee's furry coat is off! Scandalous!

Now, high tea. Robin and her family love tea. They traveled the whole world to find tea. Robin doesn't stoop to cheap games, remember. Does anyone want more jam?

Robin pulls Matt away from the girls. Robin says that she's fallen pretty hard for Matt, and Matt says he appreciates that.

Shayne calls Robin out on hogging Matt. Robin cries because she has no girl friends.

Back at the house, Marshana, Amanda, and Holly receive the one-on-one date for Amanda, which means Marshana and Holly will be on the 2-on-1 date.

Matt gives Chelsea the rose for playing great, looking great and charming the English gentleman. Ashlee thinks that sucks! Does what they have mean nothing?? Robin is surprised too! "A rose is a rose," she says, looking only slightly crazed look.

1-on-1 Date with Amanda: 50's Themed!

Amanda wants to be the hot girl on this date and to show Matt her wild side.

Matt has a cute moment where he freaks out about how awesome the ABC-rented car is. They're on their way to a diner.

Amanda shows off how much she knows about cars, and Matt thinks Amanda is the all-American girl.

After chocolate shakes and burgers, Matt asks Amanda to show him some dance moves, and Amanda tries her best.

Back at the house, Marshana and Holly discover that they will be cooking on their date. Robin and Marshana--arguably the two women who are most on edge 24/7--have it out. Marshana breaks down on-camera about how much she loves Matt and then throws some cutlery down as a sign of her anger.

Matt offers Amanda a rose, they kiss, and I discover that Amanda is from Niceville, Florida, which I think is awesome.

ABC can't get in their ferris wheel car, but their cameramen do manage to capture the romantic moment from a different ferris wheel car.

2-on-1 Date: Marshana, Holly, and Some Food

Marshana and Holly are going on their 2-on-1 date. Holly truly believes that something special is happening between her and Matt. Marshana thinks that she and Matt need more time to get to know him. Marshana also thinks that wearing this chef hat will give her an edge.

Their "cooking" date turns into just an "eating" date.

Matt wants to know whether they would be willing to move to London. Marshana is willing to move, so is Holly. Big surprise.

"Put me on an island in the middle of nowhere, and I can long as I'm with you," says Holly.

Marshana looks like she's going to throw up.

Matt takes Marshana off for her one-on-one date. No guts no glory, says Marshana. I'm sorry we haven't kissed yet, says Matt. Really? What an approach!

Matt and Holly end up on Matt's bed, which Robin had previously been eying last episode.

Matt offers the rose to Marshana, telling her that he wants to get to know her better. Matt explains he found conversation difficult with Holly. Holly feels like she put her heart out and that Matt was giving her some response back. I am really feeling for Holly at this moment because it did seem like Matt was, uh, reciprocating on the bed.

Final cocktail party: In Which We All Drink and Feel Kind of Down
Everyone is nervous, which means that Amanda is meeping and Kelly is drunk again.

Bachelor walks in, half-hearted SQUUUEEEEAAAAL!

I'm sad, says Matt. Yesterday was tough.

The mood goes from zero to negative 60.

Matt is so serious! says Ashlee. He's here to find a wife! That's seeeeerious!
We can't always rely on looks and music, says Matt.
Giiiiggggggle! says Ashlee.
Ashlee says that she is okay with being away with family and that it's possible for things to work out between them if she is touring.

Matt takes Noelle aside. Matt asks Noelle to "go for it now," and Noelle promises that she has a lot to offer.

During their one-on-one time, Kelly tells Matt, "Thank you for fitting me in." Matt points out that she's physically cutting him out. Matt is in the middle of a conversation with Kelly discussing this behavior when Kelly decides to rip off the front of her dress. Matt looks like he can hardly believe what's happening until Kelly loses her balance and hits her forehead on her knee. This is the kind of behavior that I saw drunk sorority girls in college pull off, and I always felt bad for them now, and I am really feeling bad for Kelly now too.

Happy to be free of Kelly, Matt finds solace in Shayne who makes baby noises and says she doesn't like shaaaaaaring Matt. Matt somehow finds this attractive and kisses her very softly.

Chris "Love Killer" Harrison arrives to break up this somber party.

Rose Ceremony
"There's a different feel here tonight," says Chris "I know because I killed love" Harrison.

  • Chelsea
  • Amanda
  • Marshana
  • Shayne
  • Robin
  • Noelle

Goodbye, Ashlee and Kelly. And of course, goodbye Holly.

Kelly makes one last final impression, "I'd be into me. Any dude would want to date me."

Ashlee wants to find someone who sees more in her than a songwriter. I wrote a song for him, and it's much more powerful ad emotional than any words can say. And here, much to everyone's disbelief, she sings once more. One. Last. Time.

Next week: Marshana falls down the slopes of Sun Valley!

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