Saturday, January 31, 2004

12 Hours from Hell


otherwise known as midnight 1/30 to noon 1/30

MIDNIGHT-3 am: Study session/bonding session in Heather's room with her, Jason, and various other people who joined the party

3 am-3:30 am: Failed attempts to sleep (Meanwhile, one bed over, Jess doesn't sleep but an hour the entire night)

3:30-approximately 6 am: Sleep! Yay! Ignorance is bliss!

Approximately 6 am: FIRE ALARM FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S 6:30 AM.




Post-Demonic Fire Alarm-7:15 am: Failed attempts to sleep

10 am: Sleep through discussion group

11:00 am-Noon: History of Philosophy midterm=no fun at all

Then my day picked up... Meaning, I watched television, read Newsweek, cuddled with Anna, and slept for the rest of the afternoon until...

5:30-5:45 pm: Pregame for SAGA with some raspberry vodka shots. Sad, true, tons of fun.

5:45-6:30 pm: SAGA drunkeness

lost time... until 8:00 pm: GYPSY

Finally a late evening concluded with more raspberry vodka, music, sobering up during a long convo with Anna, a dance party to Toxic on repeat, and Fantasia 2000 in John and Brett's room.

I have been productive today, eating at Panera and practicing my horn self for over an hour. Uncle Steve can eat it since he sent me bogus attachment that doesn't tell me shit about my research project... And he's not at home to tell me what the attachment said. Gr...

But now I am off to see Lucia at the Lyric Opera House. Oh man... Gotta get my culturin' in.


Wednesday, January 28, 2004

The last few days, my life has been moving in this strange surreal scene-by-scene reflection fashion. I think it'd make for a good book.

I had a dream. I was four, maybe five. No older than six. Caught up in the life I had, going to ballet once a week and Montessori every other day. With no apparent reason, some man approached me, explaining I had to sing and dance in the next ballet show. I'd have to get everything ready. Suddenly I had the responsibilities of a 19 year old college student. I woke up. I was late for French.
I spend twelve hours straight with John, Brett, and Jess. We determine the fastest routes around campus. Without cheating. For the most part. I dance, drink, eat pizza, clap along with Boomshaka and Paul Wertico, and relive childhood watching Indian Jones: The Last Crusade.
I cover my eyes because skeletons scare me. My sister teases me. Tickling follows.
My parents and I are standing in Panera. I'm wearing Josh's cologne. I wonder if we'll get these Panera places in Ohio, they're pretty good. Sarah and I watch a group of Northwestern kids studying while sitting up at the counter facing the window. Secretive I-want-to-be-you envy ensues.
I'm sitting at the counter in Panera. Reading. Drinking a hot chocolate. Here I am.
Rain falls. The windshield wipers aren't on. We cry and hold each other because we just know.
Crawling up on the lifeguard chair at the beach in winter snow, the chair loses all its meaning one fall gave it.
Dancing, I run up and down the aisle of the church. My favorite white dress flounces with each step. It's spring, so I get to wear my new shiny white shoes. An older lady grasps by hand and smiles as I run by her. The song stops. I know I have to sit down and wait for the next one.
I'm sitting in Uncle Steve's seminar class. The Carter Family sings, hidden somewhere in the corners of the room, "Can the Circle Be Unbroken?".
I tap my pen.
I'm dancing.


Sunday, January 25, 2004

THE END by Shel Silverstein

(Playboy, December 1970)

And God looked down over all the earth and He was sick unto His stomach.
"OK!" He said. "All right! I am fed up. I am disgusted. I have had it. Enough is enough. Gabriel," He yelled, "blow your damned horn! I am putting an end to all that crap down there."
"Well, it's about time,"said Gabriel, taking his horn out of its case.
"Do you want a nice modern riff or something military, like taps, or maybe one good long --."
"I don't care what you blow," said God, "just blow! Make it loud; make it solid and final and of all eternity -- make it ring from heaven to hell and back; make it reach into all men's souls and fill them with the realization that this is it. Make it bang!"
"T. S. Eliot says the world ends with --"
"I don't give a damn what T. S. Eliot says -- you just blow that horn like I tell you!" said God.
"All right," said Gabriel, "all right, but you don't have to yell at me. After all, I'm a musician, not a plumber. I've waited a long time for this gig and I'm not going to goof it. You just tell me how you're going to end it and I'll come up with something that cooks."

And he fit the mouthpiece into his horn "You going to have it rain for forty days and forty nights again?"
"Well." said God, I haven't really given it much thought."
"Well, if you're thinking of having it rain, you'd better forget it -- they got new drainage systems down there!"
"Maybe I'll make an earthquake,' God said. "That would really --"
"No good," said Gabriel. "I could give you some great quaky music -- but lots of those houses are quakeproof, and I imagine you want to get them all at the same time."
"Of course, of course," said God, "I know that. I wasn't seriously thinking of earthquakes....A plague is more my style -- maybe a plague that --"
"They're vaccinated!"
"Vaccinated? Hmmm....of course....that is a shame, though...In the old days, you could make a plague that would strike down every male child that --"
"You could try to blast them," Gabriel said.
"That's right," said God, "a few good thunderbolts would really --"
"But their ABM defenses would probably stop them."
God sat back and thought for a while.
Gabriel fingered his valves.
"I suppose everything is fireproof," God finally said.
"Everything but the slums," said Gabriel, "and if you burn those out, they'll only rebuild with modern developments."
God was silent for a long time.
"Listen," He said, smiling weakly, "what the hell. Maybe .... maybe we'll just forget about it for now.
Maybe I'll give them a little more time -- after all, they are my own children, aren't they?"
"OK by me," said Gabriel. "You want to hear a little somethin' anyway ... I mean, as long as I already got the horn out?"
More silence.
"All right," God finally said softly, leaning back wearily in His chair and closing His eyes.

"Play me some blues!"


Thursday, January 22, 2004

Literary Conclusion

I realized today, right before fiction class, that I base my opinion on people usually on fictional characters. I look for the Daisy's, the Newland Archers, the Hunting Guide girls, the Chillingsworths and others. Chances are, I pinned a fictional character on you before you had a chance.

For that, I apologize, but I'm not usually too far off.It's a way for my mind to ease up the process, right? I mean, we all learned that in Intro to Psych. I am glad I finally recognized that I have this habit though. First thing I did after realizing it was rectify my opinion of a former "Daisy."

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Newland Archer? I guess that makes me Madame Olenska in the end, and I'm okay with that. But goddamn those Newlands, I even like their May Wellands better than them when it comes to the conclusion.


Tuesday, January 20, 2004


"Even if the sun is behind the clouds, it's still shining."


The Doctor is OUT (in Iowa!)

Hooray for Iowa and not letting Dean take it. Hooray for John Kerry and his awesome campaign tactics. Uh oh, I'm shedding too many political views in this lj!

So, I'll just leave you with Dean's post-primary speech, you know, the one where he's in crazy denial and his voice is cracking? I predict bad things for the Deananator after this monster:

DEAN: "Well, you guys, you have already got the picture here. I was about to say, you know, I'm sure there are some disappointed people here. You know what? You know something? You know something?

If you had told us one year ago that we were going to come in third in Iowa, we would have given anything for that.

And you know something? You know something?

Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York. And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. To take back the White House. YEAAAH!"

So good for Dean. He may not have won Iowa, but he can name lots of states in succession. Maybe he can spell them too, kids!


Thursday, January 15, 2004

As taken from my December 12, 2003 journal entry

Tonight I concluded two things:
1. Work sucks.
2. Mice run the hard drive of my home computer.

Let me elaborate…
1. Work sucks. Tonight was your run-of-the-mill Friday holiday night at Old Navy. You had your usual customers:
Exhibit A:
Crazy ass bitch who hits her children with one hand while pointing her finger at you with her other, screaming about how “Y’all better give me my ten percent off, ya hear??” These bitches come by the dozens.
Exhibit B:
Dumb ass bitch who pays for her ninety dollar total purchase with all ones. Let’s just say that Florida didn’t have this many recounts. Damn.
Exhibit C:
Damned annoying kid who knocks over entire new display. Somebody needs to shatter that kid’s face with the plastic dog that’s propped up in the signature Old Navy truck. Shit.
Exhibit D:
One hot guy who is buying his girlfriend a gift. Damn… and shit. Both… At once.

Now I know what you’re thinking… You’re a normal shopper. But you’re not, and neither am I. When I cross paths with a normal shopper, I want to jump over my register and shower him or her with love and praise: “MAY GOD LINE THE PATH OF YOUR LIFE WITH ROSES AND BLESS YOU WITH GOOD FORTUNE IN ALL SURPLUS STORE DISCOUNTS!! GO IN PEACE AND GOODWILL.”
If you are a normal shopper, talk to me and I’ll see what I can do for you.

And now onto number 2...
2. (Ha, were you expecting THAT?) Mice run the hard drive of my computer. I can hear them all the time in their little mouse workout wheels, grinding away. I know that this computer is Windows 98, and by my calculations, you are almost six years old, which must be like 190 in human years, but really, could you guys keep in the fuck down?? Seriously you guys, you make such a ruckus. I’d spell-check that in Word, but I don’t want to wear out your little mice legs by opening a new window, so I’ll let it go. Keep on truckin’, lil mice friends.

Your Cinderella-esque Old Navy Slavin’ and Mouse Lovin’ CC


Saturday, January 10, 2004

Exclamation points serve to amplify and emphasize

Today rocked my world for many reasons. I had two classes and was done by noon. I like this better than my Fridays off schedule because it's more rewarding!! :D I totally ate lunch with Brett and John and then hung around doing superfun things like PAYING BILLS! WOOOOOOO! Yay for getting things done.

Tonight, Jess and I were like... Sheeit. What are we gonna do?
We thought, Whoa, there is so nothing to do.
But we were so wrong!

!!!We ventured out into Evanston for some good chocolate fun at the chocolaterrie. I don't know if that's what you call it, but we will.

!!!Then Tate met up with us, we ran into voice majors Meghan and Dennis.

!!!Then we had a winin' dinin' good time in NMQ in Dennis' room before beginning the hunt for: a-million-people-cc-didn't-know.

!!!Then, the million people CC didn't know, plus her usuals, all went to Las Palmos. Wow. The whole losing your voice and regaining it thing doesn't always work well when you're laughing really hard. I've never heard anyone refer to effects of drinking as making their penis feel tingly, but that comment has totally changed my perception of drunkeness.

!!!Then it snowed, a lot! And Tate pushed me in the snow! What is it with me getting pushed in the snow, man?

!!!Then we totally hung out at Jones and I watched/semi-had-to-participate-in a game of Spin the Bottle. It was so close to pornography, I can't even explain. When it comes to spin-the-bottle kissing, Meghan pulled the fastest move on me ever. Whoa!

!!!Then Jess and I headed back to the dorm with another kid CC didn't know, but met! Alright!

!!!Then Jess, John and I bundled up and went out into the snow. We played in the hilly valleys outside Jones and went to the beach. I wrote my name really big. John wrote his nickname "Smells" right by mine! Aww! I love snow so much! (did I mention that it is cashmere?) We totally saw the Titanic sink in Lake Michigan too!

Tonight has created some conclusions for me...
1. I shouldn't judge people too quickly.
2. Some people will be hoes and others are future pornographic camera-men.
3. Spin the Bottle can desolve into drunken orgies.
4. John can be a lifeguard and save "Jskah"'s life whenever.
5. Whips aren't meant to be cracked in hallways.


Wednesday, January 7, 2004


So my musicology professor, who likes to be called Uncle Steve, just told me I should be a sociologist. Was this a compliment? An insult? Something altogether new and different? I don't know, but I think I love him!

I've never been so excited to learn! How altogether nerdy and Northwestern do I sound?? Oh geez. I mean, I was basically overwhelmed all fall quarter with this "HOLY SHIT I'M AT COLLEGE AND IT ROCKS!" attitude, but now I'm like, "HOLY SHIT I CAN TOTALLY LEARN WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!" Maybe I'm growing up. Kind of.

Anyway, I'm all about this seminar right now. How awesome is listening to the music that developed rock n' roll and writing about it?

History of Philosophy is equally rocking my world. I've always been all about overanalyzing things, and now I can take a course in it!

Voices and Visions, my gender class, is already messing with me. I, CC--the female caught somewhere between this generation, the past, and the next-- am completely in love with the idea of watching horror movies and reading romance novels in order to explore gender roles in society. (Nerd alert, again.)

I should probably apply this intellectual inspiration and do some work... And shit, should I rush a sorority or not? Better make that decision in the next hour or two.


Thursday, January 1, 2004

The Big Secret

Here's a secret:

It's not actually January 1, 2004. It's actually mid-summer 2007.

I promise I'm not trying to deceive anyone, including myself, but I've decided it's time to consolidate. I've had a couple journals, blogs, and notebooks lying around over the last few years, and it's time they all came together in one concise electronic form. So here it is.

Have fun, be safe, and keep on keeping on.