Monday, June 4, 2007

thoughts upon graduation

I'm running on little to no sleep from the last few days, but it's important that I update now.

I'm done.

Done with college, that is.

After a website crashing, recreating it, a finished documentary, and an econ final in the last, well, three days, I'm done.

If it were not for sitting at John's computer, listening to the raging theater party outside my window and having just returned from Jeff Redinger's apartment where I hung out with freshman year Willardite-types, I might be able to fully appreciate and comprehend that phrase--I'm done.

But instead, I languish in the residue of heat, the drip of the Ridge and Davis air conditioners, and the darkness of this darkened room and pretend that this is not it. That this might be another beginning.

And I suppose, ultimately, it is. But how can one move forward when one is too busy looking behind her?

So I will allow myself this time to decompress, to wax nostalgic, and to do whatever it is that all graduating seniors do (drink? cry? repress?) in the next week before graduation. Perhaps I will be ready. And perhaps I won't.

But at the end, for most of my life, I will be a Northwestern graduate. So for now, I will relish in this threshold--this in-between--and wait.