The Gods of Tennis War Tonight

Tonight, Pete Sampras and Roger Federer square off at, well, Madison Square Garden in the ultimate match of tennis gods and Adonises known to man. I cannot adequately describe my love for these two players because it is completely visceral. My stomach just flips at the thought of a Sampras overhead or the cool, collected Federer gaze before a perfectly calculated shot. I once even almost caught a sweaty shirt of Sampras's in Cincinnati. See? Just then--stomach flipping.


But here's my problem: I don't have any tennis-obsessive friends to convince to pay $20 to go to the Landmark Century with me to watch a live feed , I don't get the Tennis Channel, and I don't know of any bars that will be playing this match.

If you can help me, please contact me immediately. I will owe you big time.