Earth-Shattering Revelations

Occasionally in life, everything we believe in is turned upside down. The last time this happened to me, I practically argued with my AP US History teacher that Henry Clay was, in fact, once president. (I swear to GOD that he was! Someone went back in time, changed history, and I’m the only one who knows the truth.)

Today, a similarly disturbing truth was revealed to me, and all that I’ve ever known is now questioned. Prepare yourselves, people, for something you probably already knew: Loofahs are not sponges.

I have avoided buying loofahs--or so much as looking at them--because of the stomach-turning reaction I have to their porous surface which I imagined as the squishy innards of a sponge. (By the way, I can’t explain this reaction, but I truly am nauseated by things with little holes or scales. Thus, my dislike for fish and how sometimes I feel like even certain mesh materials are looking at me the wrong way.)

But to (only) my (own) surprise (and nobody else’s), loofahs are made from the locules of a gourd. A GOURD. Not a sponge. Well, I guess you live and learn but can continue to insist that someone changed history and nobody else knows…